Let these Grace-Crushed Bones Rejoice

Paul Tripp has written a bit on something he calls "violent grace"...a brief snapshot:

"You see, we all have a perverse capacity to be comfortable with what God says is wrong. So God blesses us with violent, uncomfortable grace. Yes, He really does love us enough to crush us, so that we would feel the pain of our sin and run to Him for forgiveness and deliverance.

David says in Psalm 51:8, “Let the bones You have crushed rejoice." It's a curious phrase. Crushed bones and rejoicing don't seem to go together. You wouldn't say, "Hooray, I have a broken bone!" But that's very close to what David is saying. He's using the searing pain of broken bones as a metaphor of the pain of heart that you feel when you really see your sin for what it is. That pain is a good thing!

Think about it. The physical pain of an actual broken bone is worth being thankful for because it's a warning sign something is wrong in that arm or leg. In the same way, God's loving hammer of conviction is meant to break your heart and the pain of heart you feel is meant to alert you to the fact that something is spiritually wrong inside of you. Like the warning signal of physical pain, the rescuing and restoring pain of convicting grace is a thing worth celebrating!

So God's grace isn't always comfortable because He isn't primarily working on our comfort - He's working on our character. With violent grace He will crush us because He loves us and is committed to our restoration, deliverance, and refinement. And that is something worth celebrating!"

Reflections on "Violent grace"...November 2012

It's been grace all along.  The Lord has been surpassingly good to me.  The violence in the grace has truly been in my reaction to His command to trust and follow Him.  Trusting and following Him has always been a grace when experienced and has truly never let me down.  My reaction to this command is where the punches start.

With my struggles in fear - there has never been anything that has happened to cause me to fear like I do - GRACE. I still struggle with fear more often than not --- and God meets me there. GRACE. I have created the disaster that makes up most of my struggles --- and God is redeeming them. GRACE. My frequent thought - "I wouldn't have this problem in the first place...if I just trusted Him to care for me" and, somehow, through it all, we (God & I) are even closer and He is strengthening my "trust-Him" muscles. GRACE. I create challenges --- He redeems my heart and brings me closer to Himself, while revealing to me more of Himself and His Word. GRACE.

Psalm 51:8 "Let the bones you have crushed rejoice"

My bones, on their own, cannot take You, Oh God - You are far too great, too powerful, too grand for my wee-bones to stand.

My first birth did not set me up to stand before a fearfully wonderful God.  I was set for death since the very beginning: violent grace.  And everything within me KNOWS it - violent grace!

All the strivings...all were/are flavors of death...but You made them cravings for LIFE: violent grace.

My second birth came when I was devastated by my "first life"...every devastating hole You said You could fill...fill to the overflow: I get to have You. Violent. GRACE.  It's better than a solution.  I get to have You.

My bones were not made to be sufficient on their own.

I use to think they could be...I could try harder, do better.  I could train and get stronger.  But my bones were not made to be sufficient on their own.  What crushed them is that I thought they could be sufficient.  I gave them weight they could not bear.  I was not made to be separate from You, God.  What crushes me is these bones. Violent Grace. You gave me bones that I cannot depend on!  Violent Grace. My bones were not made to be sufficient on their own.  I was not made to be separate from God. Violent grace. I cannot depend on myself, and this is how You created me - I am in desperate need for You...and You are exactly who I need most.

Violent Grace.

Psalm 51:8 "Let the bones you have crushed rejoice"

Growing Dearer Each Day, C.H. Gabriel (1907)

How sweet is the love of my Savior!
’Tis boundless and deep as the sea;
And best of it all, it is daily
Growing sweeter and sweeter to me.

Sweeter and sweeter to me,

Dearer and dearer each day;
Oh, wonderful love of my Savior,
Growing dearer each step of my way!

I know He is ever beside me!
Eternity only will prove
The height and the depth of His mercy,
And the breadth of His infinite love.

Sweeter and sweeter to me,

Dearer and dearer each day;
Oh, wonderful love of my Savior,
Growing dearer each step of my way!

Wherever He leads I will follow,
Thru sorrow, or shadow or sun;
And though I be tried in the furnace,
I can say, “Lord, Thy will be it done.”

Sweeter and sweeter to me,

Dearer and dearer each day;
Oh, wonderful love of my Savior,
Growing dearer each step of my way!

Some day face to face I shall see Him,
And oh, what a joy it will be
To know that His love, now so precious,
Will forever grow sweeter to me!

Sweeter and sweeter to me,

Dearer and dearer each day;
Oh, wonderful love of my Savior,
Growing dearer each step of my way!

You don't have power. God has POWER.

Although I do not often write here - I think to sometimes. And I've been thinking lately, that if I'm going to write more again, than I probably am going to write differently than before. A lot has changed; I have changed. So, perhaps my writing will change. Maybe that's why I haven't been able to write for so long now...I haven't been able to write like I always have and so I gave up on trying. I feel like it is time to let the thoughts loose...they do not have to look the same anymore...I can write, even here, when pretty bows and clean lines are MIA. So get ready...an unleashing is on its way!

So...these thoughts today were spurred on by a sermon by Steve Mizel of Trailhead church. He spoke on power and control, and it began a conversation between me and my Father, God, and Savior, that I think has really led me to a place of worship and awe of God. So here goes!

I have recently realized that I am a closet power person. It may not be as outwardly obvious & probably most would not say so, but as I look at my heart and what it desires and what has caused great disappointment and deep strongholds...has a strong connection to me having power in my life. And really, the last year or so I have really felt powerless in my life, and I think that is part of what has led me to some deep and persistent sadness and apathy of life. And I think it has to do with the fact that I can't have this idol of power right now! How sad that I have put so much hope in something apart from God! And look how disappointing my idol was!

While Steve preached, I began to realize this issue of power and the ways it has motivated different areas of my life, how it has reigned over my emotions, and how not having it has made me want to give up completely. I began to see how I react to lacking power in my life with anger, instability, hopelessness, giving up, blocking out (emotion), and putting on a "front," but I am actually angry...cause I can't have power!

For me, I might gain some insight if I begin to notice when I begin reacting in the ways listed above and ask simple questions like, Where have I lost power? Where am I craving power/influence or thinking about re-gaining power? Historically, the plans to regain power have been elaborate - and total flops!

As I continued thinking about this recent time in my life when I have completely lacked power in my life, God helped me see, very clearly, how it has been a miraculous benefit to me that I have really lost a lot of my perceived power in my life! Lacking power meant that a relationship that seemed impossible, could be mended in the most beautiful of ways. Lacking power means hope in what seemed to be the most hopeless area of my life. And as for a powerless life - this means I can walk (or really dive) into a desperate & strong reliance on God...which sounds like freedom from so many of the chains I've given myself!! A miracle! Oh, I have been praying for miracles....and He is supplying them while I have been sitting and wondering where He was & what kind of God He was! Ahhhhhh - He is this kind of God...the kind of God that is working miracles while I was sitting in a pitiful pit of MUD, depressed and feeling like I was falling apart, all while God continued His active commitment to making Himself great...even in this ole' life!

And I came to realize, if I don't NEED power in life like I thought I did, I can actually have hope.

Oh God. You are inviting me out of my need for power and into freedom in Your sovereignty. I FEEL YOU. Ah. You have power. And it is truly great. You are God over this life...no matter how drenched in sin and doubt. I am Yours - signed and sealed and YOU have power and You are powerfully exercising it over this ole' life - wow.

You doubtful girl - hear this NOW.

Psalm 145:3 "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable."

Hear it girl, it is TRUE.

God protects us by not letting us be in control, in power - and this reminds me of the power of this truth in my own life and some of the most powerful ways that God has been sovereign and intervened in my life!

God is SO in control even in the suffering or pain....but I think much of my "pain" has been simply (and yet not to be taken lightly) my sinful disagreement with a Holy, righteous, good, powerful God.

Resting in Him, He whose power is so great, there, in that freedom, we have power (in the freedom to rest in Christ).

Free = truth = you have no control or power; you are a slave to your flesh, and God is in His right place as you as His chosen servant, child, creation.

Me: Oh Lord, I want to be me again.
Him: (as He patiently keeps reminding me), you are only "you" with ME.
Me: Thank you for fighting for us. Thank you for not letting me get away...can we be together now (hand in hand)?
Him: That is kinda up to you.
Me: I am in love with You. I can't get away from it.

God is relentlessly pursuing me...and no matter how far away I get myself from Him, I cannot help myself but to be absolutely fallen in love with Him, no matter what...this does not (at all - as is clear) speak to how good I am at loving or following Him - but points directly to the object of my love - that which is infinitely holy, right, good, powerful, and BEST - no matter how many other gods I consider, I find myself helplessly head over heels for the only True Husband Father God. Thank God this is true of Him.

No Place I'd rather be 

No Place I'd rather be 

No place I'd rather be 

Than here in Your love, 

Here in Your love 

Set a fire down in my soul 

That I cant contain that I cant control 

I want more of You God 

I want more of You God

Snapshots: Incomparable

"So if it seems that there are going to be some temporary losses when you run this race with Jesus, you are right. That is why Jesus said to count the cost (Luke 14:25-33) before you sign on. But the marathon of the Christian life is not mainly loss. It is mainly gain. "For the joy that was set before him he endured the cross." It is only a matter of timing. If you see things with the eyes of God, there is a vapor's breath of loss and pain, and then everlasting joy (2 Corinthians 4:17)....the sufferings of this present age are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to the children of God (Romans 8:18). So let us lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with Jesus." - Piper

Grace

"Past grace is glorified by intense & joyful gratitude. Future grace is glorified by intense and joyful confidence.  This faith is what empowers us for venturesome obedience in the cause of Christ."  - John Piper
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