In Affliction - Child, Abide in Christ

"...every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit." John 15:2, ESV 

"...He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit." - John 15:2, AMP 

"...And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken." - John 15:2, MSG

"Dear Christian, in affliction abide in Christ. When you see it coming, meet it in Christ; when it is come, feel that you are more in Christ than in it, for He is nearer to you than affliction ever can be; when it is passing, still abide in Him. And let the one thought of the Saviour, as He speaks of the pruning, be yours too: 'Every branch that beareth fruit, He purgeth, that it may bring forth more fruit.'

So shall your times of affliction become your times of choicest blessing - preparation for the richest fruitfulness. Led into closer fellowship with the Son of God and deeper experience of His love and grace - established in the blessed confidence that He and you entirely belong to each other - more completely satisfied with Him and more wholly given up to Him than ever before, with your own will crucified afresh and the heart brought into deeper harmony with God's will - you shall be a vessel cleansed, meet for the Master's use, prepared for every good work.  True believer, O try to learn the blessed truth that in affliction your first, your only, your blessed calling is to abide in Christ! Be much with Him alone...Let Jesus Christ Himself be your chief companion and comforter. Delight yourself in the assurance that closer union with Him, and more abundant fruit through Him, are sure to be the results of trial, because it is the Gardener Himself who is doing the pruning, and He will ensure the fulfillment of the desire of the soul that yields itself lovingly to His work." - Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ*

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Oh Lord, thank you for this comfort. It stings, while I feel your embrace. I long for the day You & I and us, Your bride, the Church, will be completely and fully in deepest communion ("a close relationship, an act of intimate sharing, receiving, intimate fellowship, rapport, common faith") and harmony ("an interweaving of different accounts into a single narrative").

Oh Lord, that we would be Yours in the deepest possible way for this moment...while anticipating with expectant hope for much more. Oh Lord, I wish I did not have to wait. This must be the deepest possible tension of waiting I will ever know. To have You deeply while longing & wanting for so much more...knowing and expecting ultimate oneness that I will experience with You & with my family, Your bride, the Church.

Everything I am is Yours,

while the FRUITION of that statement (my sanctification) involves death - your death on the cross, your resurrection, your conquer of death, your offer of new life - Your Holy Spirit given, my life blood, my all, the one and only true vine.  His cross is continuously relevant to me.

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*This book, Abide in Christ, this author, Andrew Murray, I cannot recommend highly enough. It has been the book I have been reading for years, alongside God's Word. It has been balm, counsel, & help to my soul - and has helped me turn more deeply & fully to God's Word for God Himself.  Murray has helped reorient my heart time & again - has truly pastored me for years now & I am certain for years to come.

Ministry of Reconciliation

"Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience. We are not commending ourselves to you again but giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart. For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 

From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 

Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain.  For he says,  

“In a favorable time I listened to you,
and in a day of salvation I have helped you.” 

Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. We put no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything. 

We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.  2 Corinthians 5:11-6:13

A new ministry begins today. Oh God please bless it.  Please lead me.  Please capture this to be about You, not about me.  May Your gospel and Your good news move us.  Help me know how to move forward!  Please hold me and carry me.  No matter what - I am Yours.  My future IS secure.  This is just how I am spending some of this life You've given me - and somehow it is intricately connected to You and to that very eternal future I have with You.  And to others' eternal futures too!  Wow.  Mysterious.  Glorious.  Please seal me to You.  Please seal this new ministry to You.

It's all Yours - my faithful and powerful God.

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Child of the King

Thank you Jesus for 7/18/2014. It was good to be with You. I think I'll take Wednesday as a day of prayer with You. A lot is going on...and a lot seems to be on the horizon. I sense Your movement, sweet Jesus...I'm eager to remain near to You.

My main ask - please make me a child, one dependent on you, a child leaning in on the King. A child of the King is set for her life. She does have quite a bit of an intense & fierce life before her, but she would not trade it for anything. And, truly, the intensity and ferocity is the King's to lead through. She need only to follow Him and stay near to Him. She gladly does - she would not want it any other way. She identifies herself with the King and that truly shapes and moves her life and future direction. He is a glorious King. One that is so worthy to be followed. His ways are certainly mysterious and creative. Only He knows how to meet the needs of such a mysterious and broken world. He is the Author and, therefore, He is the perfecter - He is the only way. She knows it. She clings to Him. Gladly.

Jesus, please awaken my heart to what You are calling me to. So many dreams, passions, & personal leanings are being awakened. You are opening doors and inviting me to faithfulness. May these passions be a part of the movement of YOU among Your people. Lord, oh that I and those around me would experience the GOSPEL, to be a part of the movement of Your Holy Spirit among Your people, that by every means possible You might be proclaimed. My heart is heavy that Your name would be highest - in my proclamations, but also in my daily life...to see all things brought into subjection to You - to trust and lean on YOU. God - how do I respond to all that You have initiated? Please hold me fast, claim me to faithfulness.

Oh Jesus, I want to live for You. I want my life to be a living sacrifice to You, Oh Lord. You do not need me, but you WANT me. And I WANT YOU. Lord be glorified.

This was my favorite hymn when I was a little girl. In the church I went to growing up, you got to pick the hymn to be sung right after you got baptized.  I remember thinking, how could there be a greater message to claim today than this? God, You were active then. There is no way I could have grasped the beauty of this hymn without your sweet & powerful grace. To be a child, to be claimed by the most Holy One...is to be claimed and named by the King. Even before walking in my identity as a daughter, I had a fierce and glorious King who was on the move...

In my life Lord, be glorified, be glorified!
In my life Lord, be glorified, be glorified today.

In Your church Lord, be glorified, be glorified!
In Your church Lord, be glorified, be glorified today.

In my home Lord, be glorified, be glorified!
In my home Lord, be glorified, be glorified today.

In my words Lord, be glorified, be glorified!
In my words Lord, be glorified, be glorified today.

Whiter Than Snow -

Today has brought a snow blizzard that I have never seen the likes of! I look out my window and almost only see white! I spent the morning sitting on the hot water radiator in my bedroom (aka, my "window seat" - not only a great view, but warm too!) and began to wonder - "in what ways does this snow tell me more about God or point me to Himself?" I am sure there are many implications of this question, but this is what I sat with as I searched God's Word:

In David's infamous psalm of repentance, Psalm 51:

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones that you have broken rejoice. - Psalm 51:7-8

In the beginning of Isaiah, after describing the very sad lost state of God's people (we are so familiar with this state of being, as we commonly share in it, are we not?):

"Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:

though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red like crimson,

they shall become like wool." - Isaiah 1:18

In Daniel, as Daniel has a vision of God & His appearance:

"... and the Ancient of Days took his seat; his clothing was white as snow,

and the hair of his head like pure wool..." - Daniel 7:9

And again in Isaiah,

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven

and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

“For you shall go out in joy

and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and the hills before you

shall break forth into singing,

and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.**

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;

instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;

and it shall make a name for the Lord,

an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” - Isaiah 55:8-13

**Danielle, remember the day we shouted these out into the valleys? Let's keep doing that.**

Wow. Here we see snow being used to paint a picture of something glorious...to lift our gaze to something far beyond our own workmanship, a beautiful picture of God's purposes, as snow is used to describe the clothing of God, the cleansing He offers to us too, and the new robes we will wear because of Him. Snow and its white-ness points us to think about the cleansing and purity we are invited to.

This life is not too broken for Him.

He is fully able to make me, wash me, and make me whiter than snow...my clothing will be like His...moreover, my heart and soul will be and is being made like His. I am so tempted to side with brokenness, to give in to despair and doubt, but He is able to make these broken bones rejoice! My God knows exactly what to do with broken bones, big doubts, crimson sin, and with a

child eager to be reclothed as His Daughter or Son!

As we face a whole lot of snow right now, may it incline our hearts to be filled with the words that many daughters and sons have long sung before us in age-old hymns like "Jesus Paid it All" and "Nothing but the Blood" - as our world fills with snow, may our hearts flood in song!

*click the picture to see the lyrics

His glory appears...

I think I have a problem (many actually! ha!) because I have been listening to this song on repeat since Wednesday. It’s so peaceful & grounding.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiJNQaCYmaA

I love how it talks about my hope found at/around a shameful/awful/deadly cross…because of His incredible glory, He takes what is disgraceful, resurrects, and saves my life. And then how it transitions into awe of how glorious He is…in our life, in the earth, in the celestial, it’s awe-provoking, hard to not get on your knees.

Makes me think of this psalm too.

I also love that it talks about angels…did you know that the Bible talks about there being myriads and myriads, legions upon legions (like in an army), and thousands and thousands and thousands of angels…even says that there are too many to count (“innumerable”). The Bible talks about how they protect…but also their worship and nearness to God. I do not say this to elevate angels, but truly to say that we are in good company!! One of my favorite things to do when I am singing alone or at church is to imagine the thousands and thousands and myriads and myriads, and legions and legions of angels that I am currently singing of God’s glory with….truly, it’s hard to feel alone when you think of it that way. And MAN, I CANNOT WAIT to hear our chorus when we are all completely together with all the angels, with all creation, singing the glory of God – can you even imagine the sound of it!??! Oh my gosh!!

Onward -

"These garments, said Christian (formally named "graceless"), were given to me by the Lord of the place to which I am going. Surely they are a token of His kindness, for I had only rags before and when I get to The City He will know me, for I will shall be clothed in His garments." - right before the hill of difficulty

"He went onward, right up the difficult way and as he went he begun to sing,

'The hill, tho steep, I will ascend, for me the toil will not offend
Be brave my heart, and do not fear, for the way of Life leads over here.'"

The Pilgrim's Progress, John Bunyan, written from jail

The rocks cry out and I keep my heart tucked away in a million journals...

I love to write...I have written enough to fill many books...yet I have not written near as much as I probably would want to had I sat down and wrote more regularly!  And where is all this that I have written??  Tucked away in a million journals...collecting dust.  Jesus told the Pharisees when they were making a big deal about His disciples praising Him like crazy, "I tell you, if they are silent, the very stones would cry out." - Luke 19:40

For the last several months I had a recurring health issue...one that goes away just to come back a week or two later.  Hundreds of dollars, many doctor visits, different drugs, pain/discomfort, and several key changes to my lifestyle later, I am **hoping** to be clear of the issue!  At first it was a major hit each time the symptoms returned, and was very disheartening...but this next journal (shared exactly as it was originally written) I wrote right after the symptoms returned for probably the 4th or 5th time.

------written 4/14/2013-----
It's odd...I seem to be in a better place lately when I come down with another infection.  It's probably all the prayers - thank you Lord for friends and family.  I think there is also an element of spiritual readiness that comes with it too - a "this seems like an obvious attack from satan, so I will love and trust God even more" attitude.  I don't ever want to be in a similar place as when I struggled so deeply under significant spiritual attack a couple years ago.  I want always to trust, follow, and obey my good Father.  I want my heart and mind to be set on Him --- so when the health stuff comes up now, it's like - "get ready. get the armor on. and get in the battle - er, truly VICTORY mindset." Because no matter what comes - my Father and Holy Husband is God, the Creator of me, you, this whole world, and even satan himself (I know...that brings up a lot of questions - right?!)...but because of who He is and also what He has done (which has maintained and affirmed who He is (i.e., righteous, glorious, sovereign, merciful, etc, etc!)), He is totally victorious.  And He has a plan.  And He wants me.  He is in me.  He is fighting for Himself through my life...not that He has to do ANYthing other than just be since He is God --- Holy, mighty, all sufficient.  But He has linked Himself with me - lil ole' me - God decided to make me and then seal me with His Spirit, causing me to cry out and to know deep meaning to "Perfect Father," "my Husband is King"...I have a perfect and very good Father and my Husband is King of the Universe --- not only is He King, but also Creator.  There is not one thing that I experience that does not have to fit in His plan and His intention, for His world.  There is nothing surprising here to my Father.  He knows...He cares....He is at work.  I can walk and live confidently in Who He is. My life is not haphazardly lived and truly is not fully (or even close to fully) in my hands...I have an intimate GOD who is totally victorious, loves me, and calls me DAUGHTER & bride too!  I am His bride!  He is taking my filthy rags and exchanging them with "fine linen, bright and pure" (Rev 19:8) - He is preparing me now.  He knows that I am, indeed, a prostitute...a whore who continuously turns her face...but He wants us anyway...He wants to see the whore become His beautiful bride.  Revelation 19:13 ---> Oh Word of God, with your many crowns, make my life cry out Your name - Oh King of kings and Lord of lords!  Do not contain yourself!

Father, please convict and lead my soul away from any and all evil, within and without.  Please Lord, fill me to the overflow...please use this life to Your glory, and please, oh Lord, come soon!

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As he was drawing near—already on the way down the Mount of Olives—the whole multitude of his disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen, saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” - Luke 19:37-38

All is Right

"I need You more than anything.  I am a mess...but God is working miracles in and around me, because He is God and He is far from being a mess. This is right and okay -- He should reign! Kristy, let Him reign over this life! Let Him help you. Be vulnerable because you need God; you need people.  All is right; do not be upset about your inability to save yourself. This inability brings you to the place you were destined to be -- at the foot of Christ.

I pray away the thorns because they hinder and distract me when He purposes them to draw me nearer." - writing archives, 2-17-2009

Untitled

Lord - I love You.  I want and need more of You.  Please teach me Your grace so much that I desire to show it to others out of overflow (instead of judgment!).  Lord - I want to lean hard on Your grace - over my lean on others' judgement, over my own fight for security, safety.  Left to myself, I will not do life justice, Lord.  I will be lame; my fears will come true; I will be stagnant.  Please move me with the heartbeat of Your very own.  Let us be together, as You and Jesus are together.  Holy Spirit, You have sealed me, oh please fill me to overflow!

oh the glory of God

wow.  This sweet boy is the glory of God.  
Truly, you need to watch this.

"That’s how God is now making futility serve you. The subjector is becoming the subjected. Futility is now fueling your hunger for freedom." - Jon Bloom

An exchange of addictions...

"To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul's paradox of love, scorned indeed by the too easily satisfied religionist, but justified in happy experience by the children of the burning heart" (A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, p. 15). "Or as St. Bernard sang it:

"We taste Thee, O Thou Living Bread,
And long to feast upon Thee still:

We drink of Thee, the Fountainhead
And thirst our souls from Thee to fill."

Matthew Henry is right: "Wherever there is true grace there is a desire for more grace." When Paul said, "Don't be drunk with wine but be filled with the Holy Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18), his aim was to make God-aholics out of all believers. The Spirit is not deadening; he is addicting. The evidence that you have him is that you want more of him. Continued indifference to growth in grace is a sign of no grace." - John Piper

Come. See. Follow. Found. Life. Light. Purpose. Love.

 Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." – John 8:12

If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. "Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. - John 12:26-27

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. - Psalm 138:7-8

And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." – Mark 10:21

The Great Walk

© 2009 Kristy Wakefield

As I pray, I feel His presence come over me.
He begins to show me…
A Dad and his little child walking, hand in hand.
As I watch, I know it is Him and I.
He is walking with me.

He asks me if I would like to go on a walk.
Without a thought I say “yes,”
All the while knowing that this would be more than just an ordinary walk.
He is going to walk with me forever.
He tells me to “follow Him.”
To give up all else and follow Him.
He is walking with me.

We walk, hand in hand.  Sometimes I hesitate, sometimes I run.
He is walking with me.
Sometimes I dance, sometimes I sing.
He is walking with me.

Sometimes He picks me up and carries me,
While other times He gives me a needed push to face the things I fear the most.
When I am alone, hopeless, lost, or saddened by the world,
He knows His purpose.  He knows the direction.
He is walking with me.

When the road becomes too weary, I see His outstretched arms.
He knows how much I need Him.
He gives me strength enough to reach for Him.
He is walking with me.

As He walks with me, He leads.
We walk, hand in hand; He shows me love.
He leads me in the way everlasting.
His path looks crooked from my worldly lenses, 
But His is a straight and narrow path that leads to life.
He is walking with me.

As we walk, I pause.
He gently presses His hand against my back,
“Keep walking with me…I know what is ahead.
Our walk will not be taken by darkness, for I am the light of life.”

He is walking with me.

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“God takes care of the lilies and the sparrows and God will take care of you. Just come.” – Mother Theresa