Child of the King

Thank you Jesus for 7/18/2014. It was good to be with You. I think I'll take Wednesday as a day of prayer with You. A lot is going on...and a lot seems to be on the horizon. I sense Your movement, sweet Jesus...I'm eager to remain near to You.

My main ask - please make me a child, one dependent on you, a child leaning in on the King. A child of the King is set for her life. She does have quite a bit of an intense & fierce life before her, but she would not trade it for anything. And, truly, the intensity and ferocity is the King's to lead through. She need only to follow Him and stay near to Him. She gladly does - she would not want it any other way. She identifies herself with the King and that truly shapes and moves her life and future direction. He is a glorious King. One that is so worthy to be followed. His ways are certainly mysterious and creative. Only He knows how to meet the needs of such a mysterious and broken world. He is the Author and, therefore, He is the perfecter - He is the only way. She knows it. She clings to Him. Gladly.

Jesus, please awaken my heart to what You are calling me to. So many dreams, passions, & personal leanings are being awakened. You are opening doors and inviting me to faithfulness. May these passions be a part of the movement of YOU among Your people. Lord, oh that I and those around me would experience the GOSPEL, to be a part of the movement of Your Holy Spirit among Your people, that by every means possible You might be proclaimed. My heart is heavy that Your name would be highest - in my proclamations, but also in my daily life...to see all things brought into subjection to You - to trust and lean on YOU. God - how do I respond to all that You have initiated? Please hold me fast, claim me to faithfulness.

Oh Jesus, I want to live for You. I want my life to be a living sacrifice to You, Oh Lord. You do not need me, but you WANT me. And I WANT YOU. Lord be glorified.

This was my favorite hymn when I was a little girl. In the church I went to growing up, you got to pick the hymn to be sung right after you got baptized.  I remember thinking, how could there be a greater message to claim today than this? God, You were active then. There is no way I could have grasped the beauty of this hymn without your sweet & powerful grace. To be a child, to be claimed by the most Holy One...is to be claimed and named by the King. Even before walking in my identity as a daughter, I had a fierce and glorious King who was on the move...

In my life Lord, be glorified, be glorified!
In my life Lord, be glorified, be glorified today.

In Your church Lord, be glorified, be glorified!
In Your church Lord, be glorified, be glorified today.

In my home Lord, be glorified, be glorified!
In my home Lord, be glorified, be glorified today.

In my words Lord, be glorified, be glorified!
In my words Lord, be glorified, be glorified today.

Sanctification: Fear and Anxiety

Fear -

You cannot be my god.  I have lived for you for far too long.  God is so good in that He has been relentless about dethroning you.  You cannot reign in my life.  You are not allowed to claim my identity, my freedom to live the life God has given me, my relationships, and most of all, you do not get to be elevated over true belief in my Almighty God and Father.  God knows how to use you for His glory and I pray that all my fear would always be used for God's glory.  Every last bit, every single moment of fear, may it only bring me into closer dependence on my Father, make me more eager to declare my God as GOD & bring me to run to Him for relief and the re-writing of my theological beliefs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CGex2YgCrU

Truth

"Truth is not rightly known if it does not result in the worship of God." - Michael Snetzer

"All truth exists to make God known, loved, shown." - John Piper

Why is worship absolutely crucial in dreaming about a treatment center?  Because walking in faith that Jesus does heal the brokenhearted means that worship is going to be happening...not just as a preventative measure or an equipping tool (though I'd argue that it is these as well, in the army of God, as we face spiritual warfare)...but because when the truth of God and His grace in Jesus is miraculously heard and experienced by a soul that has only lived in death...worship is the response.  We envision worship because we envision that souls are going to long to worship Jesus.

The rocks cry out and I keep my heart tucked away in a million journals...

I love to write...I have written enough to fill many books...yet I have not written near as much as I probably would want to had I sat down and wrote more regularly!  And where is all this that I have written??  Tucked away in a million journals...collecting dust.  Jesus told the Pharisees when they were making a big deal about His disciples praising Him like crazy, "I tell you, if they are silent, the very stones would cry out." - Luke 19:40

For the last several months I had a recurring health issue...one that goes away just to come back a week or two later.  Hundreds of dollars, many doctor visits, different drugs, pain/discomfort, and several key changes to my lifestyle later, I am **hoping** to be clear of the issue!  At first it was a major hit each time the symptoms returned, and was very disheartening...but this next journal (shared exactly as it was originally written) I wrote right after the symptoms returned for probably the 4th or 5th time.

------written 4/14/2013-----
It's odd...I seem to be in a better place lately when I come down with another infection.  It's probably all the prayers - thank you Lord for friends and family.  I think there is also an element of spiritual readiness that comes with it too - a "this seems like an obvious attack from satan, so I will love and trust God even more" attitude.  I don't ever want to be in a similar place as when I struggled so deeply under significant spiritual attack a couple years ago.  I want always to trust, follow, and obey my good Father.  I want my heart and mind to be set on Him --- so when the health stuff comes up now, it's like - "get ready. get the armor on. and get in the battle - er, truly VICTORY mindset." Because no matter what comes - my Father and Holy Husband is God, the Creator of me, you, this whole world, and even satan himself (I know...that brings up a lot of questions - right?!)...but because of who He is and also what He has done (which has maintained and affirmed who He is (i.e., righteous, glorious, sovereign, merciful, etc, etc!)), He is totally victorious.  And He has a plan.  And He wants me.  He is in me.  He is fighting for Himself through my life...not that He has to do ANYthing other than just be since He is God --- Holy, mighty, all sufficient.  But He has linked Himself with me - lil ole' me - God decided to make me and then seal me with His Spirit, causing me to cry out and to know deep meaning to "Perfect Father," "my Husband is King"...I have a perfect and very good Father and my Husband is King of the Universe --- not only is He King, but also Creator.  There is not one thing that I experience that does not have to fit in His plan and His intention, for His world.  There is nothing surprising here to my Father.  He knows...He cares....He is at work.  I can walk and live confidently in Who He is. My life is not haphazardly lived and truly is not fully (or even close to fully) in my hands...I have an intimate GOD who is totally victorious, loves me, and calls me DAUGHTER & bride too!  I am His bride!  He is taking my filthy rags and exchanging them with "fine linen, bright and pure" (Rev 19:8) - He is preparing me now.  He knows that I am, indeed, a prostitute...a whore who continuously turns her face...but He wants us anyway...He wants to see the whore become His beautiful bride.  Revelation 19:13 ---> Oh Word of God, with your many crowns, make my life cry out Your name - Oh King of kings and Lord of lords!  Do not contain yourself!

Father, please convict and lead my soul away from any and all evil, within and without.  Please Lord, fill me to the overflow...please use this life to Your glory, and please, oh Lord, come soon!

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As he was drawing near—already on the way down the Mount of Olives—the whole multitude of his disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen, saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” - Luke 19:37-38

All is Right

"I need You more than anything.  I am a mess...but God is working miracles in and around me, because He is God and He is far from being a mess. This is right and okay -- He should reign! Kristy, let Him reign over this life! Let Him help you. Be vulnerable because you need God; you need people.  All is right; do not be upset about your inability to save yourself. This inability brings you to the place you were destined to be -- at the foot of Christ.

I pray away the thorns because they hinder and distract me when He purposes them to draw me nearer." - writing archives, 2-17-2009

Engraved on the palms of His hands

"But, as it is written,“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,

nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him”"
- 1 Corinthians 2:9

Jesus is holding my life....my Holy Husband, why must I insist to look elsewhere and pray for so much else, when I HAVE what is infinitely greater and best!?  Oh Lord, that I would only return to my Husband, for it was better for me then than now.  Lord, I love You; I don't want to look for someone/thing else.

Dear God, You give (freely) to your children...I must trust my Father, the Giver of good gifts.  I have no concern worth having...my Father rules in Heaven...and in my heart.  My love, oh Lord, is small, but Yours is GRAND and is already mine.  You will not forget this child, who is engraved on the palms of Your hands.

I take courage in Your promises, that are more true, more impactful, more everything than I can barely comprehend.

Lord - You blow my mind; please fill my heart...and may my hand be engraved also as to not forget my Lord & Husband.

Snapshots: "We don't need better salesmen. We need better messengers."

Been reading some really good stuff lately...decided to share some of my favorites on here. The quote below is from Steve Mizel's blog - I clipped my favorite parts, but do yourself a favor & read the whole thing on his site!
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"The gospel is an incredible message of what God did for us in Jesus' death and resurrection. And it is insanely beautiful. He took my shame, my sin, and my place in judgement so that I could stand with him in the fullness of his blessing. He was covered with my shame so that I could be covered with his glory. He was crushed as my substitute in judgment so that I could stand as his brother in blessing.

The gospel is simply and profoundly a message of what God has done to gain our victory - a victory we could never win for ourselves. It is the good news delivered to us so that we might believe and be saved immediately and absolutely from the penalty, progressively from the power, and ultimately from the presence of our sin. The gospel is a message of good news to be believed about God's commitment to us. It is not a request for commitment from us.

The gospel says, Stop trusting your ability to work up to God and take hold of God, and instead start trusting in what God has done to take hold of you.
...
Scripture is clear: we are saved by faith in the person and work of Jesus. Our goal as those who share the good news of Jesus should not be to get people to do something with the truth - it should be to persuade them to believe the truth. And just because we can get someone to want heaven or forgiveness or a better life doesn't mean we have persuaded them to trust completely in the person and work of Jesus.

We don't need better salesmen. We need better messengers. We have been entrusted the greatest message ever given to mankind, and it carries it's own power." - Steve Mizel, Trailhead Church

Snapshots: Incomparable

"So if it seems that there are going to be some temporary losses when you run this race with Jesus, you are right. That is why Jesus said to count the cost (Luke 14:25-33) before you sign on. But the marathon of the Christian life is not mainly loss. It is mainly gain. "For the joy that was set before him he endured the cross." It is only a matter of timing. If you see things with the eyes of God, there is a vapor's breath of loss and pain, and then everlasting joy (2 Corinthians 4:17)....the sufferings of this present age are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to the children of God (Romans 8:18). So let us lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with Jesus." - Piper

Snapshots: Hebrews 12:1-2

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

"I remember the effect this verse had on me as a boy when I heard someone explain that we must lay aside not only entangling sins, but "every encumbrance." That is, every weight or obstacle. Things that in themselves may not be sins. This was revolutionary. What it did (and I hope it does the same for you) was show me that the fight of faith - the race of the Christian life - is not fought well or run well by asking, "what's wrong with this or that?" but by asking, "is it in the way of greater faith and greater love and greater purity and greater courage and greater humility and greater patience and greater self-control? Not - Is it a sin? But: Does it help me run! Is it in the way?"..."

But when you look at your life through this lens, remember, "...verse 2 says, "Look to Jesus the author and perfecter of your faith." Don't look to your own resources and say, "I've tried before. It won't work." Fix your eyes on him. The battle is a battle of faith: will you believe that the things he promises are better than the bad habits that you use to cover your sadness? But more than that, Jesus doesn't just respond to faith with his help. He works to author faith and perfect faith. He works to begin it and he works to complete it. Faith lays hold on Jesus for help, because Jesus laid hold on the heart for faith. Hebrews 13:21 says that God works in us what is pleasing in his sight through Jesus. He is the author and the perfecter of our faith" - John Piper

My family history of faith -

"We look and we see examples of faith and perseverance under every imaginable circumstance: there's David who committed adultery and murder, and he finished; there's John the Baptist who had a weird personality, and he finished; there's John Mark the quitter, and he finished; and Mary the prostitute, and she finished; and William Carey, plodder, and he finished; and Jonathan Edwards who got kicked out of his church, and he finished; and Job who suffered so much, and he finished; and Stephen who was hated and stoned, and he finished; and Mary Slessor and Amy Carmichael and St. Paul who served as single people all their lives, and they finished; and there's Wyman and Jerry and Rollin, and they all finished. Well, by the power and faith that got them through I'm going to finish too!" - John Piper

Grace

"Past grace is glorified by intense & joyful gratitude. Future grace is glorified by intense and joyful confidence.  This faith is what empowers us for venturesome obedience in the cause of Christ."  - John Piper
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