Weeds

As I approached the garden, I could see where weeds had sprung up; there were not many, but, even so, I could tell that they were there. Just looking at the weeds, they appeared weak and easy to manage, but once I began to tug and pull, I quickly realized that these weeds had thick roots that were very deep, strong, and alive. In fact, their roots were deeper and stronger than some of the desired plants that were growing in the garden. My job that day was to get down to the root of the weeds, in order to completely remove the weed along with its roots.

Pulling weeds is a hard, laborious work, digging up roots, using rough tools, and exerting all my strength and effort often did not get the root free from the ground. There were also times where the root broke and only a part of the weed was released from the garden. These times were disappointing, knowing that my hard work only removed the surface of the weed, leaving its strong root system, which was sure to thrive and quickly grow back.

I remember feeling that it was good and beneficial to do the hard work of ridding the garden of its weeds, but, even so, there remained a biting reality that no matter how hard I worked and how well I uprooted weeds, some weeds were sure to grow back and new weeds were sure to join the garden in due time.

As I reflect on my day of pulling weeds, I recognize a familiar tune between a garden and my daily life. So often, the undesirable parts, “weeds”, of my life, be it my sin or my suffering, seem small or weak on the outside, but prove thick-rooted and deep once pursued further. I might exert all my energy to uprooting deep weeds in my life, only to find new ones pop up or old ones return. I can easily get lost in the task of getting rid of weeds. Weeding – in a garden or in my life – often feels necessary or urgent, but quickly becomes insurmountable if I solely focus my attention on weeding.

Weeding a garden does not sustain or create the glory of a garden. In fact, weeding is only a task of the garden, not to be confused with the key ingredients that actually create and sustain the glory of a garden.

C.S. Lewis speaks of a garden’s glory:

“It (the garden) teems with life. It glows with colour and smells like heaven and puts forward at every hour of a summer day beauties which man could never have created and could not even, on his own resources, have imagined…And when the garden is in its full glory the gardener’s contributions to that glory will still have been in a sense paltry (insignificant) compared with those of nature.”

What Lewis is getting at is that the greater work of the garden is yielded to a force far beyond our contribution. Without sunlight, soil in which life can grow, rain, air, etc., the garden ceases to exist. The garden, like us, is dependent on God to offer far greater care and growth than we can even dream, imagine, or desire. Does that mean that the gardener’s work (pulling weeds, breaking dirt, encouraging here, discouraging there) is unnecessary? No, not at all, as it is the gardener’s work that makes a garden a separate thing from mere wilderness.

However, our work in the garden is our response to what has already been set in motion by the God of the universe. In the beginning, before there was man, and before there was a garden, there was a God who purposefully set things in motion (Genesis 1-2). He purposefully created and now sustains all. We are not creator, nor even sustainer, but are, instead, invited to life-giving intimacy with and dependence on The Creator and The Sustainer and to receive, from Him, life that only He can give.

“Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

Jesus knows complete intimacy and perfect communion with the Father, and yet He came to earth, in the form of a man, had no sin, yet died a sinner’s death on a cross, and defeated death through His resurrection. Even the weeds behold a glory that is beyond our understanding. Even the weeds are pointing to something, someone far greater at work.

“Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

The glory of a garden is not in the work of the gardener, but rather in its dependence on a Source far greater and offers far more than we ourselves can provide. So it is with us – we were created dependent on a Source far greater than ourselves; we were made to depend on Him.

----Originally written for karishouse.org

Whiter Than Snow -

Today has brought a snow blizzard that I have never seen the likes of! I look out my window and almost only see white! I spent the morning sitting on the hot water radiator in my bedroom (aka, my "window seat" - not only a great view, but warm too!) and began to wonder - "in what ways does this snow tell me more about God or point me to Himself?" I am sure there are many implications of this question, but this is what I sat with as I searched God's Word:

In David's infamous psalm of repentance, Psalm 51:

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones that you have broken rejoice. - Psalm 51:7-8

In the beginning of Isaiah, after describing the very sad lost state of God's people (we are so familiar with this state of being, as we commonly share in it, are we not?):

"Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:

though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red like crimson,

they shall become like wool." - Isaiah 1:18

In Daniel, as Daniel has a vision of God & His appearance:

"... and the Ancient of Days took his seat; his clothing was white as snow,

and the hair of his head like pure wool..." - Daniel 7:9

And again in Isaiah,

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven

and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

“For you shall go out in joy

and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and the hills before you

shall break forth into singing,

and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.**

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;

instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;

and it shall make a name for the Lord,

an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” - Isaiah 55:8-13

**Danielle, remember the day we shouted these out into the valleys? Let's keep doing that.**

Wow. Here we see snow being used to paint a picture of something glorious...to lift our gaze to something far beyond our own workmanship, a beautiful picture of God's purposes, as snow is used to describe the clothing of God, the cleansing He offers to us too, and the new robes we will wear because of Him. Snow and its white-ness points us to think about the cleansing and purity we are invited to.

This life is not too broken for Him.

He is fully able to make me, wash me, and make me whiter than snow...my clothing will be like His...moreover, my heart and soul will be and is being made like His. I am so tempted to side with brokenness, to give in to despair and doubt, but He is able to make these broken bones rejoice! My God knows exactly what to do with broken bones, big doubts, crimson sin, and with a

child eager to be reclothed as His Daughter or Son!

As we face a whole lot of snow right now, may it incline our hearts to be filled with the words that many daughters and sons have long sung before us in age-old hymns like "Jesus Paid it All" and "Nothing but the Blood" - as our world fills with snow, may our hearts flood in song!

*click the picture to see the lyrics

Truth

"Truth is not rightly known if it does not result in the worship of God." - Michael Snetzer

"All truth exists to make God known, loved, shown." - John Piper

Why is worship absolutely crucial in dreaming about a treatment center?  Because walking in faith that Jesus does heal the brokenhearted means that worship is going to be happening...not just as a preventative measure or an equipping tool (though I'd argue that it is these as well, in the army of God, as we face spiritual warfare)...but because when the truth of God and His grace in Jesus is miraculously heard and experienced by a soul that has only lived in death...worship is the response.  We envision worship because we envision that souls are going to long to worship Jesus.

His glory appears...

I think I have a problem (many actually! ha!) because I have been listening to this song on repeat since Wednesday. It’s so peaceful & grounding.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiJNQaCYmaA

I love how it talks about my hope found at/around a shameful/awful/deadly cross…because of His incredible glory, He takes what is disgraceful, resurrects, and saves my life. And then how it transitions into awe of how glorious He is…in our life, in the earth, in the celestial, it’s awe-provoking, hard to not get on your knees.

Makes me think of this psalm too.

I also love that it talks about angels…did you know that the Bible talks about there being myriads and myriads, legions upon legions (like in an army), and thousands and thousands and thousands of angels…even says that there are too many to count (“innumerable”). The Bible talks about how they protect…but also their worship and nearness to God. I do not say this to elevate angels, but truly to say that we are in good company!! One of my favorite things to do when I am singing alone or at church is to imagine the thousands and thousands and myriads and myriads, and legions and legions of angels that I am currently singing of God’s glory with….truly, it’s hard to feel alone when you think of it that way. And MAN, I CANNOT WAIT to hear our chorus when we are all completely together with all the angels, with all creation, singing the glory of God – can you even imagine the sound of it!??! Oh my gosh!!

Onward -

"These garments, said Christian (formally named "graceless"), were given to me by the Lord of the place to which I am going. Surely they are a token of His kindness, for I had only rags before and when I get to The City He will know me, for I will shall be clothed in His garments." - right before the hill of difficulty

"He went onward, right up the difficult way and as he went he begun to sing,

'The hill, tho steep, I will ascend, for me the toil will not offend
Be brave my heart, and do not fear, for the way of Life leads over here.'"

The Pilgrim's Progress, John Bunyan, written from jail

The rocks cry out and I keep my heart tucked away in a million journals...

I love to write...I have written enough to fill many books...yet I have not written near as much as I probably would want to had I sat down and wrote more regularly!  And where is all this that I have written??  Tucked away in a million journals...collecting dust.  Jesus told the Pharisees when they were making a big deal about His disciples praising Him like crazy, "I tell you, if they are silent, the very stones would cry out." - Luke 19:40

For the last several months I had a recurring health issue...one that goes away just to come back a week or two later.  Hundreds of dollars, many doctor visits, different drugs, pain/discomfort, and several key changes to my lifestyle later, I am **hoping** to be clear of the issue!  At first it was a major hit each time the symptoms returned, and was very disheartening...but this next journal (shared exactly as it was originally written) I wrote right after the symptoms returned for probably the 4th or 5th time.

------written 4/14/2013-----
It's odd...I seem to be in a better place lately when I come down with another infection.  It's probably all the prayers - thank you Lord for friends and family.  I think there is also an element of spiritual readiness that comes with it too - a "this seems like an obvious attack from satan, so I will love and trust God even more" attitude.  I don't ever want to be in a similar place as when I struggled so deeply under significant spiritual attack a couple years ago.  I want always to trust, follow, and obey my good Father.  I want my heart and mind to be set on Him --- so when the health stuff comes up now, it's like - "get ready. get the armor on. and get in the battle - er, truly VICTORY mindset." Because no matter what comes - my Father and Holy Husband is God, the Creator of me, you, this whole world, and even satan himself (I know...that brings up a lot of questions - right?!)...but because of who He is and also what He has done (which has maintained and affirmed who He is (i.e., righteous, glorious, sovereign, merciful, etc, etc!)), He is totally victorious.  And He has a plan.  And He wants me.  He is in me.  He is fighting for Himself through my life...not that He has to do ANYthing other than just be since He is God --- Holy, mighty, all sufficient.  But He has linked Himself with me - lil ole' me - God decided to make me and then seal me with His Spirit, causing me to cry out and to know deep meaning to "Perfect Father," "my Husband is King"...I have a perfect and very good Father and my Husband is King of the Universe --- not only is He King, but also Creator.  There is not one thing that I experience that does not have to fit in His plan and His intention, for His world.  There is nothing surprising here to my Father.  He knows...He cares....He is at work.  I can walk and live confidently in Who He is. My life is not haphazardly lived and truly is not fully (or even close to fully) in my hands...I have an intimate GOD who is totally victorious, loves me, and calls me DAUGHTER & bride too!  I am His bride!  He is taking my filthy rags and exchanging them with "fine linen, bright and pure" (Rev 19:8) - He is preparing me now.  He knows that I am, indeed, a prostitute...a whore who continuously turns her face...but He wants us anyway...He wants to see the whore become His beautiful bride.  Revelation 19:13 ---> Oh Word of God, with your many crowns, make my life cry out Your name - Oh King of kings and Lord of lords!  Do not contain yourself!

Father, please convict and lead my soul away from any and all evil, within and without.  Please Lord, fill me to the overflow...please use this life to Your glory, and please, oh Lord, come soon!

----

As he was drawing near—already on the way down the Mount of Olives—the whole multitude of his disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen, saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” - Luke 19:37-38

Let these Grace-Crushed Bones Rejoice

Paul Tripp has written a bit on something he calls "violent grace"...a brief snapshot:

"You see, we all have a perverse capacity to be comfortable with what God says is wrong. So God blesses us with violent, uncomfortable grace. Yes, He really does love us enough to crush us, so that we would feel the pain of our sin and run to Him for forgiveness and deliverance.

David says in Psalm 51:8, “Let the bones You have crushed rejoice." It's a curious phrase. Crushed bones and rejoicing don't seem to go together. You wouldn't say, "Hooray, I have a broken bone!" But that's very close to what David is saying. He's using the searing pain of broken bones as a metaphor of the pain of heart that you feel when you really see your sin for what it is. That pain is a good thing!

Think about it. The physical pain of an actual broken bone is worth being thankful for because it's a warning sign something is wrong in that arm or leg. In the same way, God's loving hammer of conviction is meant to break your heart and the pain of heart you feel is meant to alert you to the fact that something is spiritually wrong inside of you. Like the warning signal of physical pain, the rescuing and restoring pain of convicting grace is a thing worth celebrating!

So God's grace isn't always comfortable because He isn't primarily working on our comfort - He's working on our character. With violent grace He will crush us because He loves us and is committed to our restoration, deliverance, and refinement. And that is something worth celebrating!"

Reflections on "Violent grace"...November 2012

It's been grace all along.  The Lord has been surpassingly good to me.  The violence in the grace has truly been in my reaction to His command to trust and follow Him.  Trusting and following Him has always been a grace when experienced and has truly never let me down.  My reaction to this command is where the punches start.

With my struggles in fear - there has never been anything that has happened to cause me to fear like I do - GRACE. I still struggle with fear more often than not --- and God meets me there. GRACE. I have created the disaster that makes up most of my struggles --- and God is redeeming them. GRACE. My frequent thought - "I wouldn't have this problem in the first place...if I just trusted Him to care for me" and, somehow, through it all, we (God & I) are even closer and He is strengthening my "trust-Him" muscles. GRACE. I create challenges --- He redeems my heart and brings me closer to Himself, while revealing to me more of Himself and His Word. GRACE.

Psalm 51:8 "Let the bones you have crushed rejoice"

My bones, on their own, cannot take You, Oh God - You are far too great, too powerful, too grand for my wee-bones to stand.

My first birth did not set me up to stand before a fearfully wonderful God.  I was set for death since the very beginning: violent grace.  And everything within me KNOWS it - violent grace!

All the strivings...all were/are flavors of death...but You made them cravings for LIFE: violent grace.

My second birth came when I was devastated by my "first life"...every devastating hole You said You could fill...fill to the overflow: I get to have You. Violent. GRACE.  It's better than a solution.  I get to have You.

My bones were not made to be sufficient on their own.

I use to think they could be...I could try harder, do better.  I could train and get stronger.  But my bones were not made to be sufficient on their own.  What crushed them is that I thought they could be sufficient.  I gave them weight they could not bear.  I was not made to be separate from You, God.  What crushes me is these bones. Violent Grace. You gave me bones that I cannot depend on!  Violent Grace. My bones were not made to be sufficient on their own.  I was not made to be separate from God. Violent grace. I cannot depend on myself, and this is how You created me - I am in desperate need for You...and You are exactly who I need most.

Violent Grace.

Psalm 51:8 "Let the bones you have crushed rejoice"