I love to write...I have written enough to fill many books...yet I have not written near as much as I probably would want to had I sat down and wrote more regularly! And where is all this that I have written?? Tucked away in a million journals...collecting dust. Jesus told the Pharisees when they were making a big deal about His disciples praising Him like crazy, "I tell you, if they are silent, the very stones would cry out." - Luke 19:40
For the last several months I had a recurring health issue...one that goes away just to come back a week or two later. Hundreds of dollars, many doctor visits, different drugs, pain/discomfort, and several key changes to my lifestyle later, I am **hoping** to be clear of the issue! At first it was a major hit each time the symptoms returned, and was very disheartening...but this next journal (shared exactly as it was originally written) I wrote right after the symptoms returned for probably the 4th or 5th time.
------written 4/14/2013-----
It's odd...I seem to be in a better place lately when I come down with another infection. It's probably all the prayers - thank you Lord for friends and family. I think there is also an element of spiritual readiness that comes with it too - a "this seems like an obvious attack from satan, so I will love and trust God even more" attitude. I don't ever want to be in a similar place as when I struggled so deeply under significant spiritual attack a couple years ago. I want always to trust, follow, and obey my good Father. I want my heart and mind to be set on Him --- so when the health stuff comes up now, it's like - "get ready. get the armor on. and get in the battle - er, truly VICTORY mindset." Because no matter what comes - my Father and Holy Husband is God, the Creator of me, you, this whole world, and even satan himself (I know...that brings up a lot of questions - right?!)...but because of who He is and also what He has done (which has maintained and affirmed who He is (i.e., righteous, glorious, sovereign, merciful, etc, etc!)), He is totally victorious. And He has a plan. And He wants me. He is in me. He is fighting for Himself through my life...not that He has to do ANYthing other than just be since He is God --- Holy, mighty, all sufficient. But He has linked Himself with me - lil ole' me - God decided to make me and then seal me with His Spirit, causing me to cry out and to know deep meaning to "Perfect Father," "my Husband is King"...I have a perfect and very good Father and my Husband is King of the Universe --- not only is He King, but also Creator. There is not one thing that I experience that does not have to fit in His plan and His intention, for His world. There is nothing surprising here to my Father. He knows...He cares....He is at work. I can walk and live confidently in Who He is. My life is not haphazardly lived and truly is not fully (or even close to fully) in my hands...I have an intimate GOD who is totally victorious, loves me, and calls me DAUGHTER & bride too! I am His bride! He is taking my filthy rags and exchanging them with "fine linen, bright and pure" (Rev 19:8) - He is preparing me now. He knows that I am, indeed, a prostitute...a whore who continuously turns her face...but He wants us anyway...He wants to see the whore become His beautiful bride. Revelation 19:13 ---> Oh Word of God, with your many crowns, make my life cry out Your name - Oh King of kings and Lord of lords! Do not contain yourself!
Father, please convict and lead my soul away from any and all evil, within and without. Please Lord, fill me to the overflow...please use this life to Your glory, and please, oh Lord, come soon!
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As he was drawing near—already on the way down the Mount of Olives—the whole multitude of his disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen, saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” - Luke 19:37-38
